Here is a question... What does forgiveness look like???

We often say things like 'forgive and forget', or alternatively 'I forgive you but I will never forget', but what does real forgiveness look like?

I am not talking about forgiveness for little things that do not really matter in the grand scheme of things.  I am talking forgiveness for things that are painful, things like injustice, betrayal, abuse, prejudice, racism, hurtful words and actions, violation of a deep trust - things that leave scars in our memories, things that affect our future relationships, things that hurt years after the event.

One of the things we are challenged to do through the teaching of Jesus is to forgive others, it is the kind of forgiveness that enables us to do what Jesus says in Matthew 5...

...Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.

It is easy to tell people to forgive, especially when you are not dealing with the emotions that they are dealing with, and we all know that we should forgive because a lack of forgiveness cause us to seek revenge and retribution and breeds anger, bitterness, and hatred, but how do you forgive when you feel like you can't?  \

I am reminded of the Truth and Reconciliation hearings that happened in South Africa following the abolition of apartheid, where witnesses who were identified as victims of gross human rights violations were invited to give statements about their experiences, and some were selected for public hearings, also perpetrators of violence could also give testimony and request amnesty from both civil and criminal prosecution.

All I can say is that I think it must of taken great courage for those who were victims of hatred and racism, to find the grace that began that process of forgiveness, and ultimately reconciliation.

Here is a quote I posted on the Regen Facebook status last week (and I didn't get any 'likes' on this one!):

The same love that motivates forgiveness pushes it not just from exclusion to neutrality, but from neutrality to embrace.  Miroslav Volf

What des this quote mean to you?  And how do those who are finding hard to forgive to start to forgive?